(I have a Terry Butcher on line one for you....)
All hail Marcus Rashford. And quite bloody right too.
It's been an interesting week trawling through the world of social media and beyond, as the news of Daniel....sorry, Marcus Rashford's immense efforts to do good resulted in much goodness occurring.
Let's recap -
His charity raised £20m, helping to feed 400,000 children.
He launched a campaign to help the homeless.
He learned sign language to judge a poetry event at a deaf school.
He was the driving force behind a change in policy by the government to provide free school meals to impoverished children.
So far, so good.
I was therefore rather irritated, though sadly not surprised, to stumble across a Facebook post, where an ex professional cricketer had commented "Rashford is a cock-muncher. He's come from nowhere with his billions and will fuck off back to nowhere once his virtue signalling has finished".
Said cricketer (who played for a few county teams, and was in an England squad, though not picked. Possibly because he was a wanker. Who knows?) went on to offer his support to Katie Hopkins, so there were various shades of klaxon going on in my head, but regardless it reminded me of a point that has long been a bugbear.
To give it some context - I had a privileged upbringing. I went to a public school. I boarded at that school, where we played rugby, hockey, cricket and tennis. No football. Because that was for the lower classes, of course.
But I grew up loving football. I never quite understood why we weren't supposed to like it.
"I grew up loving football. I never quite understood why we weren't supposed to like it"
I then went to Southampton University, not because it was the best university choice I had, but so I could go and watch my team, and in particular the mercurial gifts of a certain Matthew Le Tissier. I used to trudge down to the games, as far as I could tell the only person from the university doing so (bar the University dealer, as it happens, but then I'm entirely unsure he knew where he was at any given moment). It was a public school heavy campus - populated by people who would flop their cocks out in the pub, allowing the hollering jury to decide how quickly they had to down their pint, dependent upon their length. That's right, it was a rugby loving university, collars up, Fat Face fleece.
As a result, I've always had a thin skin when it comes to the type of nonsense meme such as the one posted above.
But it's not rare. The snobbery of the public school sports (namely rugby and cricket) toward football, and its fans, is utterly prevalent, and utterly ugly. And it's entirely born of envy. For once the tables are turned, the privilege is on the other boot, and goodness, they really don't like it.
Essentially this was a fifty something, ex-professional cricketer consumed with envy at a 22 year old, wealthy, international sportsman trying to use his position and platform for a greater good. Sure, he probably earns more a week than said cricketer earned a year at his height. But how is that the fault of Marcus Rashford?
Yes, football has myriad problems. Yes, diving is irritating. Yes, the unfortunate association with some of the more unpleasant "statue defenders" continues (though in reality, despite names such as "Ex Football Hooligan Alliance" exist, they're not representative of the sport at all. They're just thugs). But guess what? Football fans hate all that too.
Whilst we're on that matter, it was interesting to hear the comments of the Welsh police prior to the Rugby World Cup games -
"Football fans will push the boundaries, but they will listen," Superintendent Andrew Morgan of the British Transport Police is quoted as saying by WalesOnline.
"[Rugby fans] won't listen. They won't take advice or warnings. They will be a nightmare."
Oops.
Rugby fans have a continuous round of memes to call upon comparing the supposedly more superior elements of 'their' sport over football. But it's entirely one-sided. Here's the secret - football, and football fans, couldn't give a Messi Panenka about rugby as a comparison. They are different sports. The amount of times I've heard rugby obsessed friends witter on about the footballer attitude toward referees, in comparison to their players' fawning to authority (and, again, football fans don't like it either). But you'll never hear them make the same complaints about Kyrgios castigating a tennis umpire. Why not? They're different sports too. Sorry, of course tennis is okay, mummy is a member of a club.
It's trying to create a rivalry that only goes one way. That doesn't work.
Don't get me wrong, I love rugby and cricket myself. They're both great sports. Brilliant to watch, and the providers of some incredible entertainment. But they're different from football, the machines behind them don't generate as much money (though with the advent of the IPL, our old friend, ex-pro, could have earned a packet. What a shame he didn't, eh?) They're also nowhere near as popular in the UK and Europe.
And that's the kicker, right? Those 'orrible yobs are at the head of the table when it comes to this. You'll have to suck it up. Just don't dangle your genitals in it first.