It's been a somewhat tricky couple of weeks for extravagantly coiffed gentlemen called Russell, made no simpler by yet another performance where the new brand of Saints could, and should, have lost by another three or four goal margin. Against the team bottom of the league.
So what on earth is going on?
You too can manage a football team badly, with our easy-stick Russ-wig...
I was all ready to suggest time and patience before the match today. Yes, there's been a couple of horror shows against Sunderland and Leicester, topped off by an insipid performance against Ipswich, but perhaps we were being stymied by a raft of injuries to our centre backs. Perhaps we were forced into slightly odd team selections that were thinning out the instructions on how to play our new way. Perhaps there was something going on with Charly Alcaraz that meant our most creative player should be benched, and replaced with...err...Adam Armstrong at ten.
But no.
Bollocks to that.
There's plenty of questions about the squad mentality we could raise right now. There are plenty of questions about a lack of natural leaders in there. There's even probably a little bit of weight to Martin's "scar tissue" theory as a carry over from last season. But, honestly, it's largely papering over the cracks of some pretty awful management, tactics and motivation.
I really, really wanted to like Russell Martin, as did pretty much the whole of the fanbase. He seemed a thoroughly decent bloke (and probably is). He talked a good game. Possession based, front-footed and attacking. But it feels very much right now like we've been sweet-talked by a sexy Nathan Jones regen. The dulcet tones on the pillow have taken on a distinctly rough-hewn Welsh tinge. The football has been largely awful. Look at the reality of the season so far - we've been fortunate in the games we've won (against a poor set of teams), and we've been thoroughly outplayed in the games we've lost. It's been nothing other than easy for the opposition.
Minimal points so far? Don't worry, come play Saints...
This is a hugely talented squad. Don't think otherwise. We have a raft of internationals, we have the hugely rated England U21 captain. We have an exciting wingers and a genuinely creative number ten, who doesn't get on the field of play because his English isn't that good, or some equally absurd excuse.
And yet we have a manager who seems to think that the answers to the current malaise are Adam Armstrong (comfortably one of our worst players) as captain, something that beggars all belief, until even the beggars pack up and go home when the manager decides that the other solution is "Slow Joe" Aribo.
Bar two other squads in the league, every single manager would give their eye-teeth to have the range of talent that we have right now. They'd bite your arm off to manage this lot in the Championship. Because what they'd do, more than likely, is create team cohesion by playing the best players in their best positions - and then LET THEM PLAY.
Current depiction of Southampton's fighting spirit...
The way we're set out and performing right now, we're watching good players looking confused, looking nervous, looking under pressure to "do what the manager has told us", rather than playing with any creative freedom and endeavour. That creates mistakes. Alcaraz, as well as not speaking good English (hey, Russell, 10 of the 11 starters against Middlesbrough have English as their mother language - it didn't turn out terribly well) apparently hasn't taken on enough of the instruction. But I don't want a creative ten to be "playing to instruction" - it emasculates the very thing that makes them good. If the instructions are "bugger about with the ball until we lose it, then allow the opposition to have four-on-one breaks" then all power to Charly Alcaraz and ignoring all of that. Mentality, team spirit, confidence, tactics that players actually understand - these are all the basics of effective management.
It's not all on Russell Martin though. A lot of this must fall onto the shoulders of Sport Republic and Jason Wilcox. To slightly misquote Shakespeare, "there's something rotten from the state of Denmark" who I reserve most of my ire for, but realistically they're not going to change things at this point, any more than Russell Martin is going to change his nonsensical, suicidal tactics. We were warned by MK Dons fans. We were warned by Swansea fans. We just didn't realise how bloody awful it might become.
The worst feeling in the world as a football fan isn't losing. It's stopping caring. We're fast getting to that point.
*Sigh* COYR!